04022009

Salam. Today is a good day but not really. Got a severe headache that make me really can't concentrate in the class. While it is good that i'm still alive despite the not so well feelings i have these few days. Really i cant forget him, that day when im sitting in the mosque in Batu Feringgi listening to the kuliah magrib, suddenly i shed some tears and felt that i really miss him.. and that made me wanted to ask him how is he doing at that time. And i got a good reply, which made i am really grateful that he's ok with his life. And that's juz enough for me to ease the worries i had before.
Do u know dear, i think i rather do not disturb u from that day onwards, coz now i know u can survive without me, as u mentioned before that u would be ok without me as if i never affected u in any ways. Well that's good, i rather suffered alone than letting others suffered bcos of me. Hmm i think this is the reason i chose him, as i dont want ppl to suffer bcos of me, and still u asked is it ur behaviour that made me chose him. When u hurt me wit ur words, i rather think that's not u saying it, that u r juz being honest. U see how postive my view towards u. u may nvr find a so optimistic lady like this in the future hehe. Well it may look not so important to u, but it is for me. When i defended someone wit all my heart, but i failed, it's really painful juz like ur holding somethg and u dropped it.
My Most Merciful God of the universe, i pray that you will forgive all my sins from the day i was born until now, if i have hurt many feelings of human being, you got to forgive me too, cos i am weak and even thou trying to be stronger, i am still a weak human being. My Lord, i wish that everybody will get their true love one day, and i mean spouses for each of them, that really fits their characters, attitudes, whether good or not that they really realize that they are made for each other. I hope you will grant this man a lady that is so good that one day he would forget me as he never met at all. Well it is not his fault to meet me this way, as im the one started all of this. And i really hope u will do so as soon as possible cos i really want to see him happy everyday by her side, certainly wit someone can take care of him. He is not so good with his routine, keep on skipping the meals and work all day, so you really got to save him from those things. Huh i have so many wishes that you already know cos u can read me, so i guess i dont have to write it more. I really want to ask u my Lord, why i cant get rid of this feelings until now, am i being so emotional, or am i being foolish to like someone for no reasons, are u trying to put a test on me so i will be more grateful in my life? But honestly this is a real test, sometimes im afraid of being unloyal to my husband one day, or i may juz exaggerating it huhu. Never mind, i'll do my best, like my lecturer said, buat sehabis baik.
It really feel good to write like this, i hope my pupils in the future will learn to be serious in writing and really fond of it. ( now suddenly my pupils as other character huhu ). It is one way of releasing stress in my head, and a good way to express our love to somebody.. next week i will start my praktikum and i will do the best i can. Do u know u made me really want to be like u, doing da best u can in ur work, and wow i really impressed. U juz dnt know how much i like u until this is written, until then got to say goodbye, take care dear..